catchy, yet carnal

i want to go on a rant right now about a new avril lavigne song. but i'm making an attempt to put my thoughts out there with some restraint. this is hard for me to do when i get worked up about something. i can start throwing opinions around like a beauty queen tossing candy from a parade float (minus the perfect features & pageant wave). where & how it lands, no one knows because i get careless about people's feelings & other viewpoints...

so with that in mind, i will preface this hopefully-toned-down rant by saying i can relate, in a way, with the sentiments in "what the hell." it's a catchy yet toxic tune. and isn't that kind of the worst? when it's stuck in your head... but it's POISON. (i may or may not already be failing at this attempt to be non-rant ish...) i do love a song with a good beat, which "what the hell" has. and more than that, she expresses something i think i've felt here & there. i've behaved & kept the rules for a while (this is true for a lot of kids who grow up in the church &/or kids who were raised by a pastor &/or kids who are at the church whenever the doors are open, which was me), so now i wanta do something crazy & not worry about it. here's the entire song, for your analyzing pleasure:

you say that I'm messing with your head (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
all 'cause I was making out with your friend (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
love hurts, whether it's right or wrong (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
i can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
you're on your knees, beggin' please 'stay with me'
but honestly, I just need to be a little crazy

all my life I've been good but now,
i'm just thinking 'what the hell'
all i want is to mess around,
and i don't really care about
if you love me, if you hate me,
you can't save me, baby, baby

all my life I've been good but now,
whoa 'what the hell' what, what, what, what the hell

so what if I go out on a million dates (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
you never call or listen to me anyway (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
i'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
don't get me wrong, i just need some time to play (yeah)

so i might've highlighted a few of the fallacies above. all my life i've been good. WRONG. more like, from the time i was born, i've been evil but i do these things that make me feel like i'm good, i've been a law-abiding citizen, minded my manners, etc etc. i love how isaiah pretty much kills any spirit of pride over what we bring to the table ("your righteousness is filthy rags"). also, i don't really care... if you care or not. WRONG. of course we care. to feel unwanted matters. anger & rebellion are possible responses. but deep down, one cares. and finally, i just need some time to play. that's not what i need. and it's not healthy. i need to be loved. i need eternal security. i need to make wise decisions. i need to learn that what is right & holy is actually BEST & ultimately brings genuine fulfillment.

this is classic disregarding of the heart, i feel. the age-old effort to ignore or suppress human longing (for love or whatever) & to re-route frustration (over the pain of trying to love & the seeming uselessness of circumspect choices). then there's the flawed yet attractive thinking that one can party these feelings away. or dull the feelings by playing around. sometimes i worry about imbibing words like this that are so memorable- & put to a fun beat- yet antithetical to truth. will i begin to think this way, i wonder. will my heart for God erode little by little, & will i begin to think that there's no point to pursuing Him, that i've been seeking Him in vain all these years. i like where the psalmist's head is at with that (or where it ends up when he sees what the world is serving up & then runs back to Him again)... be encouraged.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2073:11-28&version=ESV