catchy, yet carnal

i want to go on a rant right now about a new avril lavigne song. but i'm making an attempt to put my thoughts out there with some restraint. this is hard for me to do when i get worked up about something. i can start throwing opinions around like a beauty queen tossing candy from a parade float (minus the perfect features & pageant wave). where & how it lands, no one knows because i get careless about people's feelings & other viewpoints...

so with that in mind, i will preface this hopefully-toned-down rant by saying i can relate, in a way, with the sentiments in "what the hell." it's a catchy yet toxic tune. and isn't that kind of the worst? when it's stuck in your head... but it's POISON. (i may or may not already be failing at this attempt to be non-rant ish...) i do love a song with a good beat, which "what the hell" has. and more than that, she expresses something i think i've felt here & there. i've behaved & kept the rules for a while (this is true for a lot of kids who grow up in the church &/or kids who were raised by a pastor &/or kids who are at the church whenever the doors are open, which was me), so now i wanta do something crazy & not worry about it. here's the entire song, for your analyzing pleasure:

you say that I'm messing with your head (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
all 'cause I was making out with your friend (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
love hurts, whether it's right or wrong (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
i can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
you're on your knees, beggin' please 'stay with me'
but honestly, I just need to be a little crazy

all my life I've been good but now,
i'm just thinking 'what the hell'
all i want is to mess around,
and i don't really care about
if you love me, if you hate me,
you can't save me, baby, baby

all my life I've been good but now,
whoa 'what the hell' what, what, what, what the hell

so what if I go out on a million dates (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
you never call or listen to me anyway (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
i'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
don't get me wrong, i just need some time to play (yeah)

so i might've highlighted a few of the fallacies above. all my life i've been good. WRONG. more like, from the time i was born, i've been evil but i do these things that make me feel like i'm good, i've been a law-abiding citizen, minded my manners, etc etc. i love how isaiah pretty much kills any spirit of pride over what we bring to the table ("your righteousness is filthy rags"). also, i don't really care... if you care or not. WRONG. of course we care. to feel unwanted matters. anger & rebellion are possible responses. but deep down, one cares. and finally, i just need some time to play. that's not what i need. and it's not healthy. i need to be loved. i need eternal security. i need to make wise decisions. i need to learn that what is right & holy is actually BEST & ultimately brings genuine fulfillment.

this is classic disregarding of the heart, i feel. the age-old effort to ignore or suppress human longing (for love or whatever) & to re-route frustration (over the pain of trying to love & the seeming uselessness of circumspect choices). then there's the flawed yet attractive thinking that one can party these feelings away. or dull the feelings by playing around. sometimes i worry about imbibing words like this that are so memorable- & put to a fun beat- yet antithetical to truth. will i begin to think this way, i wonder. will my heart for God erode little by little, & will i begin to think that there's no point to pursuing Him, that i've been seeking Him in vain all these years. i like where the psalmist's head is at with that (or where it ends up when he sees what the world is serving up & then runs back to Him again)... be encouraged.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2073:11-28&version=ESV

Father, purge the church

of the health/wealth/prosperity gospel...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s&feature=youtube_gdata_player

show Yourself glorious, & full of strength & joy, & sufficient, through our "deepest possible pain." thank you, awesome Father!

we need these reminders, right? that He is enough. that He will get us through. and not just in a barely making it kind of way. in a way that says, this sucks but i praise Him & run to Him because i have no where else to go & because He's absolutely worthy & capable. a friend recently pointed me to peter's words (in 2nd peter 1) about teaching the scriptures, his defense of repeating to his audience what they already knew about prophecies of Christ revealed, etc etc.

essentially, he wrote that they needed to be told often, even though they already knew, believed & walked in the truth. and he saw the repeated telling as his purpose until his time was done: "so i will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. i think it is right to refresh your memory as long as i live in the tent of this body."

i thought you might also benefit by hearing the above lines as paraphrased by eugene peterson: "because the stakes are so high, even though you're up-to-date on all this truth and practice it inside and out, i'm not going to let up for a minute in calling your attention to it. this is the post to which i've been assigned—keeping you alert with frequent reminders—and i'm sticking to it as long as i live. i know that i'm to die soon; the Master has made that quite clear to me. and so i am especially eager that you have all this down in black and white so that after i die, you'll have it for ready reference."

so there it is. a couple things i'm feeling especially passionate about lately- an American church purged of the crap that is the prosperity gospel. and the church being the church by reminding each other of His grace & power to shape our character & make us whole.

more king's speech

i forgot to revisit this film to at least say thank you to the academy. that seems wierd to say since they didn't give me an oscar (jerks). but i was really pulling for king's speech to take a few home. and they did- director, actor, picture & i'm not sure what else. i was slightly offended that geoffrey rush didn't get best supporting. but what are you gonna do. i also feel the need to note, now that i've seen it twice (in theaters- don't judge), a few more things i love about it.

the irony of fear. the glory of friendship.

the irony of fear. lionel, george's speech therapist, was chiding bertie (king george's nickname) for being afraid of the "things he was afraid of when he was 5." it was a gentle chiding. it was needed. it was beautiful encouragement as they discussed childhood traumas, etc. but not more than a minute later in the movie, lionel himself is thrown into a panic, when his wife shows up at the office, because he had failed (& intentionally so) to inform her that he'd been doing speech therapy sessions with the KING. bust. so he's literally trying to hide from her behind a door when he realizes she's arrived. and bertie says, "you're being a coward." and lionel says, "you're right."

i guess it was just the timing that made me smile & see how easy it is to discern where other fears are irrational, fears that we might not have so we can't relate to in the fullest sense. but with our own fears... not as easy to see that they're unreasonable or silly.

and the glory (!) of friendship. what a gift. what a joy. to be known & loved, warts & all. i feel i say this fairly often, but on the other hand, i can't say it enough. and what a great picture of such comraderie in this best picture. (the next sentences are kind of a spoiler, but maybe i take the freedom since it's based on a true story.) as the film draws to a close & bertie's giving a crucial wartime speech, he's in a room with just a microphone & lionel. before bertie starts, he's clearly feeling apprehensive (sweat, pale face, darting eyes, shaky hands). and lionel calms him: "forget everything. just say it to me. say it to me as a friend."

the glory- & in this case, also solace- of friendship. have i mentioned you need to watch this movie!

also, it was precious to hear director tom hooper thanking his "mum" at the oscars. pretty sure he's loving her right now. check it: http://movies.about.com/b/2011/02/27/273277.htm

i feel you're missing out,

if you haven't been hearing the sermons in a recent series at my church. it's called psalms- the anatomy of the soul

so as to prevent too much of the above-mentioned missing out, i'm going to relay some of the points that struck me & are still sitting with me. hope you're encouraged & maybe drawn to read some of the below passages.

from psalm 1- the most dominant voice of instruction is God's. this makes a man "blessed" (translate: happy)!

psalm 2- when people conspire/rebel against God ("murmur" against Him), He is not unnerved. knowing their end & being their judge, He "holds the nations in derision" (vs. 4). but, blessed are all who take refuge in Him- refuge from His own wrath. through Jesus, the Father saves us from Himself. the problem of evil is me; i need to be saved. the barrel of the gun turns from Hitler & is pointed at me. we're saved from fearing man & from being timid by a proper fear of God. we find refuge in the Son who took the Father's anger at our sin on Himself; we have solace because Jesus didn't. the gospel is terrifying and it overjoys us at the same time.

psalm 89- the psalmist's hope is stirred by the fulness of God's promises. he refuses to let disappointment result in a downplaying of desire. he wants to endure with longing & stirs up his yearnings by recounting God's ridiculous promises. we need to stand on His promise that He's broken the power of sin & pray boldly in light of that.

psalm 16- the irony of pursuing joy apart from Him- when we pursue fulfilment with no-holes-barred, with the only stipulation being do whatever you can/have to do in order to find pleasure, the sad irony is that we will in fact be lacking in joy. for the Christian, joy is the norm; it's commanded & expected for those coming into contact with a great God. but our culture is famous for pursuing contentment via no prohibitions, minimal self-denial, resulting in depression rather than happiness. true joy stems from an ultimate commitment- saying yes to Him in everything & resolutely no to anything not of Him. it's not mere doctrinal assent but denying competing interests. vs. 1-2: only He can preserve our lives, & He alone is the source of goodness. vs. 4: we're often hedging our bets (seeking Yahweh plus...), but this only makes us more frustrated & "increases sorrow." we make these choices thinking we'll feel more secure. instead, we can feed our faith with thoughts of one day being seated at His right hand & by communing with Him in the meantime (vs. 11).

next post- a rundown of the messages on 42-43, 51, 66, & 67.

thank you, Father, for the skillful, clear, vibrant teaching of your word. how we need it!